There is a growing realisation across every sector that technical skill alone is no longer enough to lead effectively. The individuals who thrive in today’s workplaces are not the loudest voices or the most forceful personalities. They are the ones who understand themselves. They know how they think, how they react, how they communicate and how these patterns influence the people around them. In a world that prizes constant action, the ability to pause long enough to look inward has become a serious strategic advantage.
Self awareness is often spoken about as a soft skill. In reality, it is far from soft. It is one of the hardest disciplines to master because it requires honesty, attention and a willingness to look at the parts of oneself that may not always be comfortable to confront. Yet the payoff is enormous. When individuals understand their natural tendencies, they can adapt with intention rather than reacting on autopilot. They can make sense of their emotions, communicate with clarity and manage relationships with far greater ease.
This is not about transformation through dramatic revelation. It is about quiet, consistent understanding. Most leadership challenges do not arise because people lack intelligence or ambition. They arise because people do not always understand the impact of their own behaviour. Conversations that should be straightforward become heavy. Simple decisions become fraught with tension. Collaboration becomes strained without anyone fully understanding why. These patterns are rarely deliberate. They are simply the result of individuals acting without insight into their own internal drivers.
Why self awareness matters more now than ever
Workplaces today are more diverse, more international and more interdependent than any previous generation has experienced. Individuals bring varied cultural backgrounds, communication styles and problem solving approaches to every project. In such an environment, the ability to understand oneself becomes essential for understanding others. Self awareness is the starting point for empathy, flexibility and effective collaboration.
It also helps individuals navigate pressure. When people understand their reactions, they can distinguish between an instinctive response and a considered choice. This clarity creates stability. It allows individuals to recognise when they are acting from habit rather than intention. It helps them identify when they are avoiding something, overcompensating or clinging to a familiar pattern that no longer serves them.
This level of insight does not eliminate difficulty, but it does make difficulty easier to manage. When individuals know themselves well, challenges become less overwhelming. They can anticipate their own responses, prepare for moments of stress and communicate with greater confidence.
Knowing your strengths is not the same as relying on them
One of the most common misconceptions about self development is the belief that strengths are always strengths. In reality, strengths also become limitations when used without awareness. For example, someone with a talent for calm analysis may provide stability in crisis, but they may also appear distant or detached to others who need reassurance. Someone with enthusiasm and energy may inspire teams but may also overwhelm quieter colleagues. Someone who values diplomacy may build strong relationships but may also avoid necessary confrontation.
Self awareness helps individuals notice these patterns without judgement. It allows them to use their strengths with intention rather than assumption. Once individuals recognise that strength can become excess, they can adjust their approach and build healthier, more effective working relationships.
Blind spots are not failings
The areas individuals struggle to see in themselves are often the same areas that others notice very clearly. These blind spots can range from the subtle, such as interrupting without realising it, to the more significant, such as assuming others understand a task that was never fully explained. Strengths can also become blind spots when they dominate to the point of overshadowing other necessary skills.
The value of recognising blind spots is not in self criticism but in self clarity. When individuals become aware of these areas, they gain the power to change their behaviour with intention. Small adjustments can create a dramatic shift in how others perceive them. It can also reduce unnecessary friction in teams and create smoother, more positive communication.
Opposite styles are not obstacles
Much of the challenge in workplace relationships comes from the belief that others think in the same way we do. When individuals discover that this is rarely true, frustration often follows. Collaboration becomes easier when people understand that opposite styles are not threats. They are simply different patterns of processing and communicating.
For example, someone who works methodically may find a fast paced colleague distracting. Someone who values emotional context may struggle to understand a colleague who prefers direct and factual communication. Someone who thrives on detail may find it difficult to work with someone who prefers broad vision and conceptual ideas.
Self awareness helps individuals recognise these differences not as personal challenges but as natural variations. When individuals understand this, they can adjust their communication, set clearer expectations and build stronger professional relationships. Opposite styles become complementary. One person fills the gaps that another leaves behind.
Leadership begins with understanding yourself before trying to influence others
There is a persistent belief that leadership is defined by authority, confidence or visibility. In practice, leadership is the ability to guide others in a way that feels purposeful and respectful. Effective leaders create environments in which individuals feel understood, supported and energised. This requires the leader to know themselves well enough to avoid projecting assumptions onto others.
Leadership is less about directing and more about understanding. It begins with clarity of one’s own style. Without that, even the most intelligent leaders can inadvertently create confusion. When individuals understand their preferences, they become more intentional communicators. They can recognise when their natural style needs to be moderated or when it can be used to energise a team.
Leadership also requires the ability to see others clearly. This becomes easier when individuals have already examined themselves. Those who have taken the time to understand their own reactions are far better prepared to understand the reactions of others. They are more patient, more empathetic and more able to connect across differences.
Self reflection builds resilience
Resilience is often described as the ability to bounce back, but the truth is more nuanced. Resilience is not about pushing through difficulty without thought. It is about responding to difficulty with awareness. Individuals who understand their internal landscape can identify what drains them, what strengthens them and what they need in order to regain balance.
Self awareness also reduces unnecessary self criticism. Instead of interpreting discomfort as personal failure, individuals can interpret it as useful information. This perspective transforms challenges from barriers into sources of insight. It also helps individuals maintain emotional stability, even in demanding roles.
The discipline of pausing
One of the most valuable skills in leadership is the ability to pause. A brief moment of reflection allows individuals to make choices rather than reacting instinctively. It allows them to check whether their current response aligns with their values, their intentions and the outcomes they hope to create.
Pausing is not inaction. It is strategic reflection. It is the moment in which individuals ask themselves, “What is really happening here?” or “Why am I responding this way?” or “What does this situation need from me?” This simple practice can prevent misunderstandings, reduce conflict and improve decision making.
When pausing becomes a regular habit, individuals begin to recognise patterns in themselves. They identify the situations that bring out their best and the ones that challenge them. This understanding creates room for growth, choice and deliberate personal evolution.
A more grounded form of confidence
Confidence that depends on external approval or performance is fragile. It collapses when results do not go as planned or when feedback is critical. Confidence that grows from self awareness is far more resilient. It is not dependent on perfection. It is grounded in understanding.
When individuals know their own style, strengths and tendencies, they develop a sense of internal stability. They do not need to pretend to be someone else. They do not feel threatened by different approaches. They can appreciate their natural capabilities without exaggeration and acknowledge their weaker areas without shame.
This creates a form of confidence that is calm, steady and reliable.
Why this conversation matters for women in STEM
Women in STEM often navigate environments where assumptions are made about style, capability and leadership potential. In many cases, women are encouraged to adapt to external expectations rather than explore their internal ones. This makes self awareness even more valuable. When women understand their natural style, they can challenge assumptions with clarity and confidence. They can show their strengths without compromise and develop leadership presence in a way that feels authentic.
Self knowledge also supports wellbeing. When individuals understand their preferences, they can set healthier boundaries, communicate their needs clearly and manage their workload without feeling obligated to perform in ways that feel unsustainable.
A deeper exploration through our latest members only webinar
These themes form the heart of our recent session, “How to be the Master of your Own Soul”, presented by Ali Stewart, Master Leadership Coach, Mentor and bestselling author. Ali has spent many years coaching leaders across industries and guiding individuals to understand their behavioural preferences with clarity and confidence.
The session explores personal style, blind spots, opposite types and practical ways to increase self awareness. It offers a calm and engaging introduction to the core ideas that shape inner leadership.
For members who missed the live session, or for those who would like to explore the ideas at their own pace, the full on demand recording is now available in the Members Only Learning Hub.